Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Lanres Pen


                                                
                                                           LET THE CROSSED LEGS BE

As I walk down the street looking the best my mirror, makeup products and skills can do. Yes walking, with all the confidence. All of a sudden there are hands all over. Hands that I cant count. Free my own hands. No, no don’t go there. No, no, no don’t touch that. Fighting, wiggling, struggling, I need my hands, I need my feet. Hands get off my eyes, I need to see. Hands let my mouth be, I need to say things.
This can’t be happening. Then reality starts. The husky voice drums sense in my ears. “shut up and stay still”.  The voice poured on me like a bucket of ice. All things tied, hands, feet, mouth, eyes but not fear, my fear is exploding into my chest which is about to burst out my heart.
The jewelries start to go off, then relief start to wash over me,its just a robbery, you are fine”, a voice says. Then another voice, “let’s go, the Alhaji will pay handsomely for this”. I became numb. I couldn’t hear or feel anything. Then it occurred to me to beg. But the gag was in the way. The drive to the destination was the longest and shortest of my life.
Scream girl, let someone know, but all my efforts to scream bites back at me through the gag. So, I start to pray in all the languages I know and the ones I don’t know.        
We are back to the hands. Stop, stop please stop. Your hands shouldn’t be there, don’t do that. Nomy dress, voices, hands, o no not there. I am screaming in silence, araging in peace, amfighting without a struggle. My legs are stuck together in a crossed manner. No matter what they won’t get in, I will keep them crossed. They can do whatever they want, but my legs will be crossed. Try as they did, I dint uncross it. A slap that juggled my brain and the next thing I know it’s over. And I cannot scream, I cannot talk. I am ashamed.
Dropped off by a river with no idea what direction home is but the relief that some of the random words I picked up were over. The hands were nowhere near me. I see blood on my shoes. I just lost my husband’s gift. I just lost my pride to a bunch of strangers.
At home, the mirror is my enemy, my room is my safe. Every stranger that comes close is the culprit. Shadows, make mejump. My silence remains through it all.
Day by day, life gains its normalcy. The nightmares fade, but when they come they come just like yesterday.
I know my gown was long and I was well covered. But I can’thelp but think I may have attracted them in some way.
Like a chicken I made no reports, I let them loose. I let them be. I let them go and do it to someonelse. But where do I start to tell my story from.
I have lost my voice for so many years now. But I don’t know how late I have been.
I know, somehow, one way or the other you may have gone through this, let’s get it to stop.
Let the hands be held. Let the hands stay away. Let the legs be left crossed. A thief of an asset gifted by God. He should be stopped. They should be stopped. Fight for your friends, fight for your sisters, fight for your daughters, fight to keep the hands away, fight to keep the legs crossed.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        



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